Thursday, November 6, 2014

What is my purpose in Life?

For this assignment, we had someone in class draw us without looking at their paper and without them lifting their pencil. After that, we traded the drawings of each other and had to write based on that drawing "who are you and what are you doing here? My drawing was horrible, the girl who drew me drew a way better picture. At least my head was the right shape, she also drew some hair on me and my ears with my gauges. Then she drew what appear to be teeth. After reflecting on my drawing, I started to think, Is that how people perceive me? They just notice my altered facial features, which include pierced lips and 5/8th plugs in my ears along with my signature hair style which used to be amazing but is now looking like my hair caught on fire and it burned for a while before I could put it out. I don't really mind that, I always get up earlier than i need to so I can shower and get ready for the day. I always try to look my best because you never know who you will meet. Unfortunately, I am really introverted and have trouble speaking to people sometime, even though sometime I want to, I just can't. I really don't like that about myself. To answer the first part of the question of "Who are you", I am Osvaldo Ayala. I am an abnormal human being with social skills issues that I'm desperately trying to overcome. I have weird though process and word formation because (I'm assuming) I used to do these drugs in the past that were over the counter. I knew that they were harming my body, I just didnt really know what they would end up doing to me as I grew older. They have not affected the way I think. I have always had abstract and weird thoughts since I can remember, but now trying to explain them out loud with words is a big struggle. But I hope to one day make things that speak for themselves so you won't have to hear me struggle to explain them.

As for "Why Am I here?" Well i don't really know how to tackle this one, but I'm just going to write my thoughts. I know I am here in college to get a degree, most every profession that is out there requires you to have some proof that you have been in college. I didn't really plan on going to college but after living life after high school for a couple of years and seeing as I was doing nothing with my life, I decided to go to school so I could get a piece of paper so I could show others that I was doing something with my life. I still have about maybe 2 years max to go, but If I wasn't In school, I don't know where I would be right now. Now for the bigger picture. Why am I here in Life? I don't know if we were supposed to think this big, but its the first thought that came to me when the teacher asked the question. I feel that we all have a purpose in life. At some point in time in your life, you existence will affect someone or something in a big way, which is why you are kept alive until a certain point. I don't know who made the rules of fate, but I feel like something has kept me alive for some reason. When I was little, I went face first into a deep sink, I wold have never grown to write this had one of my aunts been there to rescue me, and the weird part is that she had something wrong with her hands and she still managed to save me. Throughout my teenage years, I did so many things to myself through the abuse of pills and alcohol. I didn't really care back then because I was just "living in the moment". That moment almost didn't last because one day, a couple of people I thought were my friends got me super drunk and then allowed me to drive home. Had it not been for my best friend since freshman year Nina Brown who randomly showed up and struggled to deal with my drunk ass, i probably wouldn't of survived that Car crash I got into. My car slid off the road and flew over a fence somehow and smashed into a tree. She called her mom at 3am and they both struggled for hours in the snow to help get me home safe. Had It not been for her, I would still probably be dealing with the repercussions of a DUI or be in Jail or worse, I could have wandered thorughout the night and passed out and Frozen. Even after falling in the snow and landing on my back on a sharp tree stump that dislocated a disc on my lower back, I managed to make it through my high school graduation, even though i was pumped full of drugs to get me through the excruciating pain that i was feeling that day. My parents aren't that wealthy, but they used a large amount of their money to allow me to get a surgery to fix that, If it weren't for them, I probably wouldn't have my left leg. After these and many other incidents, I have managed to make it through all of them and am now on a better path than i was earlier in life. To answer the question "why am I here"? I don't know, but then again, I don't think anyone does. Everyone was put on this earth for a reason, You spend your life trying to find out what that reason is, I guess all you can really do is enjoy the ride and hope that you are on the right path that will lead you to that spot in life where you were meant to be. I'm still on that path, It's a bumpy one, but I just know its the right one.

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